her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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