Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
