Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize