Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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