she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my being single is dangerous.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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