The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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