yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
