No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
