There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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