yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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