trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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