I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
