The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize