on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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