shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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