4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize