with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize