pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Randomize
