its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
