Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
