no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
