Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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