Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize