Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
