I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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