So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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