Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
