Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
