I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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