If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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