He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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