Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
