So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
