Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
