My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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