You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I CAN MOONWALK!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
