And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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