as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
