yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize