I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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