After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
