she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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