I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
