she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
