Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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