I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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