your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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