Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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