living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
