Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
