I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
