You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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