So drunk its hurt
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
