so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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