Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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