Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
