god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
