just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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