Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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