So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
