Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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