Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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